It was nine thirty when we heard a knock,
That sound did come as a bit of a shock
Living in the middle of nowhere
Rarely was ever a visitor there
We opened to see a young man with blond hair
He smiled and said “I’m Maverick
No, this isn’t a trick
Give me ten minutes to show you a deal
Then I’ll get to go home and have a good meal.”
Ten minutes we had
That wasn’t so bad
So we gave the man a chance
But what he showed us that night
Gave us all quite the fright
What he showed us was, well, lets take a glance
The cleaner of cleaners, the King of suction
More power than others and much more fun!
Not just any old piece of trash
This one would make you, all your old ones smash!
A vacuum cleaner, shining bright,
It seemed the sun rose in the middle of the night.
Kirby was the cleaners’ name
A name which is so full of fame
That name would put us all to shame
The man, (what’s his name?) Oh, Marmalade
Said “now, there’s no need to be afraid!”
And on the floor he dumped some salt
This showed up well, since our floor is the color of malt
Then pulling out a filter and placing it in his friend
He told us that with this, our floor he would mend.
But try as he may, and try as he might
He couldn’t pick up the salt quite right
The black filter was supposed to show up the white.
But the salt was covered an inch thick with gravel
The Kirby was stumped, once in all its travel
Said what’s-his-name, oh Marmaduke,
“I know that this is not a fluke!
Sure, looking at this floor may make you want to puke
And I do see your sad expression
Just let me teach this important lesson
I suppose you think all this dirt is your fault?
That it’s your fault we can’t see the salt?”
“Yes of course” Said my Mom with a sigh
She was so embarrassed she thought she might die.
“No, No!” cried, um, Marvelo?
“That is a lie!”
Your vacuum cleaner is a hunk
Of plastic and metal, it’s just junk!
You thought all this time you were sucking it up
But all this time you were pushing it down. Yup!
You’ve been made a fool
The Kirby for you would be a wonderful tool!”
Marvin told us the price; it was half of a truck,
And my Mother said “Nope, you’re out of luck!
A Kirby really is not what we need,
Rather from this carpet we’ve got to get freed!
This carpets age is forty year old!
It won’t be fixed and it won’t be sold,
We’ve just got to throw it out in the cold
Now you can go, if you’d be so bold.”
But Maverick still tried and tried
But we all new that that deal was fried
So ten minutes became an hour and a half
And Kirby’s price became less and less
So low if I told you, you’d probably laugh!
The living room was a terrible mess
With piles of dirt pulled up from the depths
Finally Marzipan, oh whatever, that Man
Left ‘because things didn’t go according to his plan
Quickly my Mom got out her cleaner
Then she said with grim demeanor
“It’s time to shove these piles back
And let’s not focus on our lack
One thing we have a lot of is dirt
So we’ll no more with Kirby flirt”
Now I tell this tale with a smile,
Even though it’s been awhile
I think that that carpet is like my heart
How from my dirt I’d love to part.
And sometimes to get clean I start
But it’s really not worth cleaning
I need a brand new meaning,
Instead of always just hiding it all.
Sometimes someone (like Kirby) comes along
Show’s me my dirt, show’s me where I’m wrong
I can try to get Kirby to clean me; I can try to get others to fix me
But I think Jesus wants to make a brand new Ellie
Throwing out the old and replacing with new
I think that cleaning really would not do
Jesus doesn’t say “Buy the Kirby and solve it all”
Jesus says “Give me that heart!” and I answer His call.
He replaces my heart like the carpet
And in my dirt I no longer sit
And soon I don’t remember, soon I forget.
Never dirty again, He’ll let me get.
We all have our dirty carpets; we all have our own mind
We’ve got to stop wasting time, leave it all behind
Don’t push rewind!
There’s only one way to win the Derby,
And, I know, it’s not to buy the Kirby.
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