Day woke early the following morning. She was eager to find out if Gavin would protect her heart the way her Father once had and she rushed out into the garden as soon as the sun was high enough in the sky. She couldn't wait to see him.
Day was surprised upon approaching the garden to find that that same older boy who had been so rude to them both before was standing and conversing with Gavin, she wondered why the two would even be talking, since she knew Gavin didn't like the older boy, and the older boy had made it quite clear that he didn't like children.
She felt a sudden panic seize her as she saw that they were leaning over something which the older boy held in his hand. It was her heart!
"Hey!" She cried rushing toward the older boy, "Give that back!"
The older boy shoved her away rather rudely, "It isn't yours, you gave it to Gavin, and now Gavin is giving it to me."
Her heart pounded and she felt she might cry, "He can't do that!" She cried, her voice seemed so squeaky and terrified to her. "It's mine!" Tears began to well up in her eyes.
The older boy had a mean look in his eyes, "If it's yours, catch it!" He said and hurled it into the air.
Day screamed and jumped forward squinting up into the sun, she could barely see it for a second and raised her arms to find it, but at the last second another set of hands appeared and snatched it before it could reach her. She turned in surprise to see that Gavin was now holding her heart. She rushed toward him, "Please Gavin, cant I have it back?" she said shakily.
Gavin laughed, "Oh come on Day, let us have a little fun, you'll be alright!" He then tossed it to the older boy who caught it well.
Day turned from Gavin and ran to the older boy, but right before she reached him he tossed it to Gavin again.
"I tell you what, you catch it, you can have it!" Said the older boy as Gavin caught the heart and Day turned to run toward him.
Her breathing was becoming rapid and she felt that this was not a nice game at all as she ran back and forth about to burst into tears at any second.
Finally she leaped into the air and put her hand up and felt for an instant the cold little heart hit her palm, but her hand did not close quick enough and she fumbled it with her other hand as well, and her little heart was stopped in mid-flight and fell to the cobblestone pathway at her feet with a pathetic sounding little crunch.
"No!" She wailed and dropped to her knees in the pathway next to a thousand tiny shards of glass. She burst into tears, "Now look what you've done!" She sobbed.
"You're the one who dropped it, not us!" Said the older boy, and he turned and ran away.
Gavin rushed up to her, "Day, I- I'm sorry, I didn't mean anything by it! I just was playing, I'm sorry..."
She didn't answer and Gavin turned and left her alone with the broken pieces of her heart
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
The Princess's Heart- Part 3
Day's life from then on became a less exciting one than ever before. She no longer went and saw her Father every night, and although he knocked at her door every night and asked her how she was she could not convince herself that she aught to go see him.
She reasoned that it could be that He was angry with her for staying away so long. She didn't even want to think about that, let alone face it. It seemed as though the entire world had become a dreary place and every morning when she woke she felt that it would have been better had she not.
Day had lost all joy in life.
But one morning as she was getting ready to go on a walk in the gardens she spotted the wrapped heart sitting on top of her dresser. She unwrapped it with trembling hands, and as she looked at it she felt a pang of regret thinking of that wonderful night when her Father has presented it to her.
"The best I can do is wear it." She said to herself, and she hung it by it's ribbon round her neck, then out into the garden she headed.
Day was surprised to find that Gavin was in the garden as well, he looked rather bored as he tossed rocks aimlessly. "Good morning." She said as grown up sounding as she could. It took a lot of control for she wanted to run to him and kiss his cheek and tell him how she'd missed him and that she wanted so badly to play games again with him. But she didn't think he would care at all for such childishness.
He smiled at her, "I see you've listened to that dolt. I knew you would."
She frowned, "Well, he was right wasn't he? I haven't seen my Father in weeks and I wonder if this is the way it feels to be grown up; I feel so tired."
Gavin had a short attention span, and returned to throwing rocks. "I liked you better before, even if you were silly."
Day felt as though she had just been struck, she turned to go sadly. Then she remembered the heart around her neck and a strange impulse seized her. "Gavin," she said, "I have a gift for you."
She took the heart from where it rested on her chest and gave it to him. "You've always been such a wonderful friend, I want you to have this." She said and searched his eyes for any sign that she had given him pleasure.
Gavin looked long at the heart, for a moment she thought he looked amazed, then he shrugged, "Thanks" he said bluntly, "But it's too girly for me to wear, what am I supposed to do with it?"
Day remembered what her Father had done with the heart, "Well, I'm terribly clumsy you see, and I would like it if you would just take care of it, keep it safe, I'm always afraid I will damage it in some way."
She couldn't tell if he was pleased or displeased, her friend simply shrugged and placed the heart in his pocket. "I'll see you tomorrow." He said and left her standing alone.
Day frowned, wondering why she felt the way she did. Then she turned to go inside and saw her Father standing there looking at her, she couldn't tell what his expression meant, He almost seemed sad, but no, he couldn't be, he was probably angry. She wondered how long he had been watching her, and if he had seen her give the heart to Gavin. She couldn't tell why, but she hoped he had not.
She reasoned that it could be that He was angry with her for staying away so long. She didn't even want to think about that, let alone face it. It seemed as though the entire world had become a dreary place and every morning when she woke she felt that it would have been better had she not.
Day had lost all joy in life.
But one morning as she was getting ready to go on a walk in the gardens she spotted the wrapped heart sitting on top of her dresser. She unwrapped it with trembling hands, and as she looked at it she felt a pang of regret thinking of that wonderful night when her Father has presented it to her.
"The best I can do is wear it." She said to herself, and she hung it by it's ribbon round her neck, then out into the garden she headed.
Day was surprised to find that Gavin was in the garden as well, he looked rather bored as he tossed rocks aimlessly. "Good morning." She said as grown up sounding as she could. It took a lot of control for she wanted to run to him and kiss his cheek and tell him how she'd missed him and that she wanted so badly to play games again with him. But she didn't think he would care at all for such childishness.
He smiled at her, "I see you've listened to that dolt. I knew you would."
She frowned, "Well, he was right wasn't he? I haven't seen my Father in weeks and I wonder if this is the way it feels to be grown up; I feel so tired."
Gavin had a short attention span, and returned to throwing rocks. "I liked you better before, even if you were silly."
Day felt as though she had just been struck, she turned to go sadly. Then she remembered the heart around her neck and a strange impulse seized her. "Gavin," she said, "I have a gift for you."
She took the heart from where it rested on her chest and gave it to him. "You've always been such a wonderful friend, I want you to have this." She said and searched his eyes for any sign that she had given him pleasure.
Gavin looked long at the heart, for a moment she thought he looked amazed, then he shrugged, "Thanks" he said bluntly, "But it's too girly for me to wear, what am I supposed to do with it?"
Day remembered what her Father had done with the heart, "Well, I'm terribly clumsy you see, and I would like it if you would just take care of it, keep it safe, I'm always afraid I will damage it in some way."
She couldn't tell if he was pleased or displeased, her friend simply shrugged and placed the heart in his pocket. "I'll see you tomorrow." He said and left her standing alone.
Day frowned, wondering why she felt the way she did. Then she turned to go inside and saw her Father standing there looking at her, she couldn't tell what his expression meant, He almost seemed sad, but no, he couldn't be, he was probably angry. She wondered how long he had been watching her, and if he had seen her give the heart to Gavin. She couldn't tell why, but she hoped he had not.
The Princess's Heart - Part 2
The Princess Day had many playmates about the Kingdom and each day she was allowed to go even outside the pallace gates to play with them all. One of the children's name was Gavin. Gavin was the son of the Captain of the Guard, and he was very proud of his father. Often the two could be found together playing with sticks as though they were swords and laughing about anything they found funny. Aside from her Father, Day thought Gavin was her favorite person on earth.
Every night the Princess went to visit her Father and tell him all about the days adventures with Gavin and her other playmates.
One afternoon when Gavin and Day were dashing about the gardens imagining that they were fighting a ferocious dragon, an older boy came along. "Silly children, what are you doing? There's nothing there." He said sourly.
Day did not know the boy, but Gavin did and it was obvious right away that they were not the best of friends. "Who are you calling a child!" Said Gavin angrily. The older boy smiled smugly, "All you do is play childs games with the Princess all day long, when are you going to grow up?" He then looked at Day, "When are you both going to grow up?" He asked again, and Day felt suddenly uncomfortable under his stare.
"I, I am sort of grown up." She said quietly, the older boy laughed meanly "Prove it!" He said and stood waiting. The Princess frowned, "My Father says that I am growing." She said, and it sounded so small and pathetic to her now.
The boy threw his head back and laughed long and hard, then he snapped at her "Your Father doesn't know anything, he's trying to keep you a child forever and he doesn't even want you to grow up. He's the worst King we've ever had. And besides, grown ups don't need Fathers. I haven't listened to my Father in ages, and look how big I've become."
Day was mortified at the thought of ever not needing her Father. She turned and ran back into the Pallace. There she hid herself in the nearest closet and cried until she heard her friend Gavin calling for her. She called out to him and he came and opened the door to the closet. He stared down at her with an odd look on his face. "Maybe he's right." He said quietly. Then he turned and walked away.
That night Day did not go to visit her Father, and when He came knocking at her door to see if she was alright she called out that she was fine, just very tired this night. She listened as he left and she felt alone for the first time.
That next morning when her Father was tending to the business of the Kingdom, Day crept into his quarters and took her little glass heart in her hands. She carefully wrapped it in her kerchief and left with it.
Every night the Princess went to visit her Father and tell him all about the days adventures with Gavin and her other playmates.
One afternoon when Gavin and Day were dashing about the gardens imagining that they were fighting a ferocious dragon, an older boy came along. "Silly children, what are you doing? There's nothing there." He said sourly.
Day did not know the boy, but Gavin did and it was obvious right away that they were not the best of friends. "Who are you calling a child!" Said Gavin angrily. The older boy smiled smugly, "All you do is play childs games with the Princess all day long, when are you going to grow up?" He then looked at Day, "When are you both going to grow up?" He asked again, and Day felt suddenly uncomfortable under his stare.
"I, I am sort of grown up." She said quietly, the older boy laughed meanly "Prove it!" He said and stood waiting. The Princess frowned, "My Father says that I am growing." She said, and it sounded so small and pathetic to her now.
The boy threw his head back and laughed long and hard, then he snapped at her "Your Father doesn't know anything, he's trying to keep you a child forever and he doesn't even want you to grow up. He's the worst King we've ever had. And besides, grown ups don't need Fathers. I haven't listened to my Father in ages, and look how big I've become."
Day was mortified at the thought of ever not needing her Father. She turned and ran back into the Pallace. There she hid herself in the nearest closet and cried until she heard her friend Gavin calling for her. She called out to him and he came and opened the door to the closet. He stared down at her with an odd look on his face. "Maybe he's right." He said quietly. Then he turned and walked away.
That night Day did not go to visit her Father, and when He came knocking at her door to see if she was alright she called out that she was fine, just very tired this night. She listened as he left and she felt alone for the first time.
That next morning when her Father was tending to the business of the Kingdom, Day crept into his quarters and took her little glass heart in her hands. She carefully wrapped it in her kerchief and left with it.
The Princess's Heart- Part 1
It was a day of great celebration, love filled the air and every guest was in joyful spirits. They had come to celebrate the Princess Day's birthday. The Princess herself was arrayed in splendor as she danced every dance with her Father. Finally toward the end of the night, when the Princess was beginning to feel a very blissful sleepiness steal over her, and her Father seemed to sense it; He stood and drew the attention of all to himself.
"I would like make a speech." He announced. The entire room awaited in eager expectation, they always loved to hear what their King had to say.
"On this celebration of my daughters birth, and I want you all to know along with her, how proud I am of her." He turned and drew his daughter from her chair and stood for a moment gazing into her eyes. Tears welled up in his eyes "Dear one, Day, I am so proud of you. I will do anything to keep our relationship always as strong as it is now. I am proud to be your Father." He turned to the crowd "This is my beloved Daughter, Day, in whom I am well pleased!" He proclaimed, and the room erupted in applause.
The two left the guests to disperse and the King escorted his daughter to her bedroom. "Day," He stopped her before her door, and withdrew from the inside pocket of his jacket a very small wrapped bundle.
"This is your gift." His eyes were full of joy as she excitedly received it and unwrapped it with quick little fingers. Dropping the wrappings to the floor she carefully held in her hands a beautiful glass heart, dangling from a thin ribbon. So great was the hearts beauty that she could not stop looking at it. It was so simple and so fair, delicate to the point where she feared even her tiny hands might crush it, should she hold it too tightly.
The King beamed "Do you like it? I made it for you myself!" She carefully placed it on the sill beside her, and flung herself into her Fathers arms. "I love it Papa, it is my favorite thing I've ever seen or been given! I am afraid I will crush it!" The King laughed and then nodded seriously, "would you like for me to keep it safe for you?"
She nodded and he continued "you may look at it any time you like."
And it was off to bed with the happy little princess.
Day went often to the Kings chambers to gaze on her little glass heart. She loved it and she loved even more to spend time with her Father and talk to him about everything she could think of.
"I would like make a speech." He announced. The entire room awaited in eager expectation, they always loved to hear what their King had to say.
"On this celebration of my daughters birth, and I want you all to know along with her, how proud I am of her." He turned and drew his daughter from her chair and stood for a moment gazing into her eyes. Tears welled up in his eyes "Dear one, Day, I am so proud of you. I will do anything to keep our relationship always as strong as it is now. I am proud to be your Father." He turned to the crowd "This is my beloved Daughter, Day, in whom I am well pleased!" He proclaimed, and the room erupted in applause.
The two left the guests to disperse and the King escorted his daughter to her bedroom. "Day," He stopped her before her door, and withdrew from the inside pocket of his jacket a very small wrapped bundle.
"This is your gift." His eyes were full of joy as she excitedly received it and unwrapped it with quick little fingers. Dropping the wrappings to the floor she carefully held in her hands a beautiful glass heart, dangling from a thin ribbon. So great was the hearts beauty that she could not stop looking at it. It was so simple and so fair, delicate to the point where she feared even her tiny hands might crush it, should she hold it too tightly.
The King beamed "Do you like it? I made it for you myself!" She carefully placed it on the sill beside her, and flung herself into her Fathers arms. "I love it Papa, it is my favorite thing I've ever seen or been given! I am afraid I will crush it!" The King laughed and then nodded seriously, "would you like for me to keep it safe for you?"
She nodded and he continued "you may look at it any time you like."
And it was off to bed with the happy little princess.
Day went often to the Kings chambers to gaze on her little glass heart. She loved it and she loved even more to spend time with her Father and talk to him about everything she could think of.
After a day of struggle; a little encouragement in the end goes a long way.
"There, peeping among the cloud-wrack above a dark tor high up in the mountains, Sam saw a white star twinkle for a while. The beauty of it smote his heart, as he looked up out of the forsaken, and hope returned to him. For, like a shaft, clear and cold, the thought pierced him that in the end the Shadow was only a small and passing thing: there was light and high beauty for ever beyond its reach. His song in the tower had been defiance rather than hope; for then he was thinking of himself. Now, for a moment, his own fate, and even his master’s, ceised to trouble him. He crawled back into the brambles and laid himself by Frodo’s side, and putting away all fear he cast himself into a deep untroubled sleep."
-J.R.R. Tolkien’s, The Return of the King.
This is quite possibly the most inspirational part of this entire book to me. I love the hope and the poetry that is in this piece. I love the truths that there are some things that can't be tainted by evil, that the Shadow really is a passing thing, and that I can for a moment cease to think of my own fate and worries when I look at the stars in the sky. And I can, like Sam put away all fear and cast myself into a deep untroubled sleep.
Good night.
-J.R.R. Tolkien’s, The Return of the King.
This is quite possibly the most inspirational part of this entire book to me. I love the hope and the poetry that is in this piece. I love the truths that there are some things that can't be tainted by evil, that the Shadow really is a passing thing, and that I can for a moment cease to think of my own fate and worries when I look at the stars in the sky. And I can, like Sam put away all fear and cast myself into a deep untroubled sleep.
Good night.
When I want to cry I'll let you know
Recently I'm realizing again how I dislike goodbyes. Goodbyes are always the hardest thing for me. Every goodbye I say is like I'm saying them all over again. Even if it's goodbye for a little while, I can't seem to convince myself of that. I just love people so whole heartedly that by the time they leave it's as if they've become a piece of me.
Often times, when someone very close to me is going to leave and the date of their departure draws nearer I find myself suddenly drawing farther away from them, even to the point of finding fault with them at times. It's as if I think that it won't hurt me to say goodbye quite as much if I just don't know them as well. But I guess that's a little silly; I already know them and I can't un-know them now; it's too late for that!
So then I wish I could know ahead of time where my friends are going in life, so then I would be able to figure out if I really want to be friends with them based off of when they are leaving, and how long they'll be gone.
But then I suppose that if I knew ahead of time I would end up with only one or two friends (and that's generous!), simply because I'm afraid of the hurt of a goodbye.
They say that if you're facing a choice that you aught to do the one you are most afraid of doing. In this case, that would be loving again, making a new friend, giving my heart once more.
Only I've given my heart; again and again. And I've said goodbye; again and again. I can only hope that my tears are watering a seed that will one day grow into a magnificent tree, one that others can come to and rest and take refuge under. I'm going through the things I'm going through in order to become who I need to become, so that I can go where I need to go and reach who I need to reach.
Really, even though my friends may all at different points leave me and go one way or another (wherever their journey takes them) and even if I have to say goodbye to a hundred more; it's worth it. Not even just for now, but in the future as well. Just think how many different connections I could have one day! Friends in the army, friends in the government, friends in the media, friends in business, friends in law, friends in the medical field, friends all over the world and in all sorts of different occupations! And I'll still know them, even if I haven't seen them for years we'll still have some sort of bonding point from our past.
Perhaps todays "Goodbye" is actually an opportunity for a "Hello again!" That doesn't mean I like it, and that doesn't take away the hurt; but it is a little bit of hope for the future, and a little comfort in pain.
Just some thoughts.
Often times, when someone very close to me is going to leave and the date of their departure draws nearer I find myself suddenly drawing farther away from them, even to the point of finding fault with them at times. It's as if I think that it won't hurt me to say goodbye quite as much if I just don't know them as well. But I guess that's a little silly; I already know them and I can't un-know them now; it's too late for that!
So then I wish I could know ahead of time where my friends are going in life, so then I would be able to figure out if I really want to be friends with them based off of when they are leaving, and how long they'll be gone.
But then I suppose that if I knew ahead of time I would end up with only one or two friends (and that's generous!), simply because I'm afraid of the hurt of a goodbye.
They say that if you're facing a choice that you aught to do the one you are most afraid of doing. In this case, that would be loving again, making a new friend, giving my heart once more.
Only I've given my heart; again and again. And I've said goodbye; again and again. I can only hope that my tears are watering a seed that will one day grow into a magnificent tree, one that others can come to and rest and take refuge under. I'm going through the things I'm going through in order to become who I need to become, so that I can go where I need to go and reach who I need to reach.
Really, even though my friends may all at different points leave me and go one way or another (wherever their journey takes them) and even if I have to say goodbye to a hundred more; it's worth it. Not even just for now, but in the future as well. Just think how many different connections I could have one day! Friends in the army, friends in the government, friends in the media, friends in business, friends in law, friends in the medical field, friends all over the world and in all sorts of different occupations! And I'll still know them, even if I haven't seen them for years we'll still have some sort of bonding point from our past.
Perhaps todays "Goodbye" is actually an opportunity for a "Hello again!" That doesn't mean I like it, and that doesn't take away the hurt; but it is a little bit of hope for the future, and a little comfort in pain.
Just some thoughts.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
floor drops out
It's been a while since I've tried writing anything really. Suddenly I'm finding that people are urging me to write. I had a friend give me $50.00 to write, because she believes that I have a gift. I had my second Dad give me his old lap top, because he believes that I have a gift. I guess my fear is that I don't really have a gift, but that it's all in my head, that I can't really write, and that when I do finally write something, they'll realize that they were wrong to believe in me.
Others believe more strongly in my gift than I do. God help me to see this through your eyes, if you've given me a gift truly, help me to use it to your glory, and I know it's not all about pleasing men, but I really don't want to disappoint, especially those who have invested in me so much. I guess this is one of those things where I can't trust myself and my own ability, I need to trust God in me.
Others believe more strongly in my gift than I do. God help me to see this through your eyes, if you've given me a gift truly, help me to use it to your glory, and I know it's not all about pleasing men, but I really don't want to disappoint, especially those who have invested in me so much. I guess this is one of those things where I can't trust myself and my own ability, I need to trust God in me.
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